I like spicy food, I really do. The only problem is, I'm not sure it likes me. I sweat like an absolute pig when I eat it. In an Indian, in a Chinese, anywhere that serves hot food, I need at least four napkins to keep my face dry during dinner.
Gross, I know.
It throws all kinds of spanners in the works. Not least for a potential holiday to Jamaica. They love chilli! But there I'll be, ordering up a curry goat and slapping a ton of Yeo Valley in it, desperately trying to dilute the scotch bonnets - and, no doubt, failing.
If it came to a choice then, between eating a crisp 10 times hotter than a jalapeño or walking bare-foot over hot coals, I know which one I'd gladly try.
Doritos don't seem to offer people that choice in their latest commercial. It was either walk the coals or don't. If someone did, they'd win a VIP trip for them and their friends.
Nice. Who wouldn't do that for their friends? Probably me, actually. Why do my friends get the VIP treatment at the expense of my delicate feet? Personally, I think anyone who wants to get the good stuff, should have to run the coals - or eat one of those ridiculously hot crisps.
A rock and a hot place. Now that's roulette!
p.s. Doritos Roulette crisps are available now - and yes, they do contain a crisp 10 times hotter than a jalapeño.